When we heal what prevents us from feeling good in our own skin, our inner light is switched on and we can attract whatever we need
I used to tell myself that it didn’t matter how I looked or felt about my body. When I lived in Thailand 20 years ago, I used to schlep around in shapeless hippy clothes and tell myself that all that was important was my connection with the Divine. After all, I was on a spiritual path.
But this was a disconnect within me, and it’s a disconnect that is still present in many spiritual circles. It is an attitude which is a hangover from the patriarchal religions that have dominated the planet for millennia. Even now it is not uncommon for Christians to believe that the flesh is evil and only the spirit is divine. And this perception still pervades most spiritual paths, even very sophisticated ones.
It is subtle though, nowadays, the denial of our bodies. And it usually covers up deep insecurity about the way we look – much as it did for me in Thailand. But rejecting our physical incarnation is catastrophic both for our ability to live our highest vision in our lives, and also for our spiritual awakening.
If you don’t live deeply within your body, you’ll never have much power, or impact in the world. You simply will not touch others, because if you are not firmly rooted in your body then people won’t be able to ‘hear’ you energetically. However much wisdom you have to share, however passionate you are about your cause… few people will really get what you are saying.
Facing this denial of our bodies is scary, because most of us are carrying so much shame that we struggle to believe we can ever change things, and so distract ourselves by continuing to focus our top four chakras. But clearing the shame and perfectionism about our bodies that is so pervasive in our culture is far easier and simpler than people realise. And the effect is immediate and immensely powerful – it’s as if an inner light has been switched on inside.
You start to look and feel radiant. You start to feel comfortable – good even – in your own skin. You begin to speak with more confidence and to write from a deeper place within, which facilitates far more people hearing you. And you start to feel vital and alive. All these things are really attractive – because other people want to feel this way too. They recognise that you have got something that they desire.
Attractiveness is precisely what the word itself states – it is the ability to attract what you want in your life, whether that is a partner, more clients, financial abundance or anything else. It has little to do with age, body shape or size, and everything to do with how you feel about yourself.
Take Marilyn Monroe or Helen Mirren. The former was apparently a size 16, while the latter is over 70, and yet both were/are utterly gorgeous, because of being comfortable in their own skins.
I often meet exceptional therapists and healers who never attract the attention that they deserve, because they are not sufficiently embodied. We have too much shame and negative beliefs about our bodies, and stuck emotional energy locked in our bodies, to ever truly feel comfortable in our own skins. I know, because I used to be one. In fact I would describe myself as ‘in recovery’ in terms of being embodied.
Once you start to live more in your body and switch your inner light on, magic happens. People respond to you differently. Doors start opening – doors which you weren’t even aware existed. Synchronicities abound, and the volume is turned up on your intuition. As women, our power lies in our wombs, and when we connect with this, we start to blossom and attract whatever we want and need.
We also start to experience a much deeper and more embodied spirituality. So much of the teaching that I used to listen to was from disembodied people, teaching disembodied awakening. I describe it awakening from the neck up. And while this kind of enlightenment experience has immense value, because it gives people a spark of something that inspires them, rarely is it permanent. Most people seem to have moments of enlightenment, but those moments never quite join up. Glimpses are valuable and I am immensely grateful for the few I have had… but I want full-time awakening, in my body.
A wise friend recently told me that Ramana Maharshi couldn’t actually feed himself or take care of his body. He was a bit like a child. This isn’t adult, mature enlightenment.
And it’s also a denial of the feminine. All the patriarchal religions have dismissed the feminine aspect of life – sensuality, the body, the emotions, intuition, creativity, even love… These aspects of life have been denigrated and dismissed for millennia. Even in Hinduism, which names consciousness as Shiva, and energy as Shakti, the latter is subtley denigrated and seen as inferior within much of the culture. Our bodies are pure divine energy. And if we cut ourselves off from them by living in our heads, we deny our own divinity.
Last year I ran a series of courses called Becoming Aphrodite as a small peer group – I was both facilitating and participating. We cleared shame out of our bodies, dissolved the hurt in our hearts and cleared away some of the negative limiting beliefs that get ingrained through difficult experiences.
My own early life was very traumatising and there was a surprising amount still that needed clearing. However, releasing all this stuck energy has helped me to feel much more comfortable in my own skin, and far more dynamic and alive than I have ever felt before, even as a child. Nowadays, when I walk in nature, I am aware of – and profoundly enjoy – the simple pleasure of living in my body. I am aware of the joy of sun on my skin, the pleasure of water when I shower and the taste of food. I am much more present, more embodied, more vital and alive. And I am able to attract in what I need far more quickly and effectively as well. In fact I manifested a wonderful loving new relationship within a few weeks of the course ending.
I am not interested in nirvana or heaven. I don’t want to be enlightened in fifteen lifetime’s time, or after I am dead. I want spiritual awakening right here, right now, in this body. And `I believe that the way to attain this is to be more present in my body.
I want to feel vibrant and alive in my own skin. To switch my inner light on, to feel radiant and luminous. Because this truly is en-light- enment. And as women, I feel we need to lead the way.
Next course dates:
Taster Session: Oct 2
Weekend workshop: Oct 29-30
See – link to Becoming Aphrodite page