Do you find that you sabotage yourself? That you formulate powerful intentions, and take action towards manifesting them, but then some major block appears, like your finances fall apart, or you suddenly get sick, or your child has a major difficulty which requires all of your attention… This is likely to be because there are conflicting beliefs operating in your psyche.
In our conscious mind we frequently believe one thing, but then have a completely different belief running in our subconscious, often the direct opposite of our conscious belief. We are then, obviously, very conflicted. on a conscious level we want one thing, but a deeper part of us wants the opposite… so we head towards our dreams and then sabotage ourselves
This works in all areas of our lives. We want to be abundant… but deep down find money distasteful, or believe that having money is unsafe because someone else in the family will be jealous. If a pattern like this is running then however hard we work, we will always be broke, because the subconscious is so much more powerful than the conscious mind.
Where I am especially interested in exploring this phenomenon is within the collective conscious of women, and the feminine polarity in general. Because I see this stuff operating in myself and pretty much every woman I have ever met, pretty much all of the time.
Take the belief: I have to put other’s needs before my own. Nowadays, most women of my generation (forties) or younger, are likely to believe – at least on a conscious level – that our needs are as important as those of other people and that we have a right to honour them. That’s what we choose to believe. But it’s rare to find a woman who really believes this deep down, in my experience.
Because for generations, millennia even, women have been programmed to prioritise the needs of others – of our partners, our children, our parents… Even if we don’t have any of these, we’ll end up prioritising the needs of our co-workers, our friends, even someone on the bus… we have been literally brainwashed, for generations, into putting others first.
But when we start to prioritise our own needs, because we understand that this is essential, one of two things is likely to happen. Either we go into self attack, and judge ourselves as selfish, or we manifest some external block, like illness or financial problems or being attacked or criticised… It will look like this is an external block. But it isn’t. it’s actually coming from deep within our psyches, because the world is always, automatically, an exact mirror of our beliefs. It’s like a universal law. Whatever you believe, deep down, will show up. So if you are accusing yourself of being selfish then someone will then show up in your life and accuse you of being selfish.
This same mechanism happens with all the other beliefs about women and the feminine. That we are to blame for everything (after all, Eve gave Adam theapple). That we’re not supposed to be powerful or earn more than men. That we should be passive and spend our lives fulfilling others’ expectations.
To us, modern women, these beliefs are at best distasteful and at worst, ridiculous. However, they are likely to be still operating in our subconscious, to some extent. Often, to a large extent. And often the reason we are so vociferous against these sort of beliefs is because deep down we believe them so strongly. Women should stay at home. Women should spend their lives looking after others. Women aren’t allowed to be successful in the world. This is what curtails our freedom these days, far more than external barriers. As Germaine Greer said in the republished Female Eunuch: the cage door is open but the canary refuses to fly out.
What clips our wings is this old conditioning. Few of us are truly expressing our full potential in the world (not that all men are either, by any means, but they have their own set of distorted limiting beliefs).
And it isn’t just women who suffer because of this. It is the feminine aspect of consciousness in general. Intuition, creativity, sensuality… traditionally these were seen as worthless attributes, even dangerous. And certainly inferior to, say, rational thinking and what I call disembodied spirituality – nirvana, heaven, enlightenment. As opposed to being awake and present, right here, right now, in this body.
Basically the feminine has been trashed. For millennia. And while we don’t consciously go along with this trashing, on a subconscious level we very much do. We collude with it massively. Because how could it be any other way? According to Bruce Lipton, a leading light in microbiology and genetics, the subconscious mind is ‘millions of times more powerful than the conscious mind’.
And the subconscious changes slowly… v e r y v e r y s l o w l y . . . .
Or at least that used to be the case. Doing affirmations, for example, is laborious. One acclaimed spiritual teacher recently said that you have to say an affirmation 100 times a day for three months before it is truly anchored within the subconscious.
Or else… you do a few EFT sessions, sometimes even just one session, on your own or with someone else. And this is the magic of EFT, the power of EFT. When you work with beliefs you can literally watch them crumbling before your eyes.
One moment they completely have you in their grip, so much so that you have no awareness that the belief is a belief. To you it is reality – it is what has always been reality. My needs don’t matter. It’s not safe to express my feelings. I’m not creative.
And then next you suddenly realise that this is complete rubbish. Of course you matter – you are a child of God, same as everyone else. Of course your feelings are valid – otherwise they just wouldn’t be there. And of course you are creative… all human beings are innately creative. Clear away the dross and the truth shines through.
It is then possible to enhance that truth that emerges, by carrying on tapping. You can tap on the positive as well as the negative. And tapping on the positive then ramps it up. So suddenly your needs matter enormously, and you cannot imagine not honouring them. EFT is not only capable of dissolving the negative – it can also enhance the positive.
My work is about empowering the feminine by dissolving this ancient outdated conditioning which still keeps our feet bound and our tongues tied… which prevent women from expressing our full power in the world, from truly shining, from being our delicious, divine, sensual, radiant selves.
The more you dissolve your own conditioning, the more the real you – the essence of who you are – starts to shine through… in all your divinity, humanity and radiance.
Your own hand of limiting beliefs are what will be preventing your light shining… Many of these, however, are fairly universal. Some of the more common ones I have come across so far include:
I don’t have time for myself
I have to rush and be busy all of the time
I’m not allowed needs
I have to bury my own needs and focus instead on other people’s needs
I need a man in order to be okay
I won’t survive without a man
I’m not allowed anything luscious or gorgeous
I have to survive on the bare minimum
I have to give my power away to men
I have to focus on men rather than myself
I need men’s approval
I have to have men’s approval and I’m not okay without it
Shame about being a woman, being inferior
Women are inferior to men
I have to do what’s expected of me
I have to fulfil others’ expectations
No one’s interested in what I have to say
My opinions don’t matter
I’m not allowed to be powerful
It’s not safe to be powerful
I will be attacked if I express my full potential and truly shine
I feel that this work is my gift to the world and I am totally engaged with it. I hope you will join me… and reclaim your phenomenal feminine power, passion and radiance.